You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize