When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
