Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There's always time for handjobs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
