in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
