The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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