sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
