how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
