God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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