trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
