Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
