My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
