Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
