Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
