omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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