fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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