I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
