he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just want to make out with him forever
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize