One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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