Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
