i already hear my dad disowning me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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