I just saw a hot homeless man
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
