you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
