we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
