So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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