garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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