You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
