Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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