I wanna passion pit in your ass
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
