Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize