I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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