He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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