ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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