i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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