She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize