I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
