Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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