When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
