And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize