First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
