I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
