For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
