Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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