She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize