nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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