i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
