I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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