How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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