I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In other news, I just burned my penis
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
