this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
