so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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