he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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