I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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