just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
