Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
