he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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