I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Houston, we have a squirter
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
