Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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