If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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