Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
