How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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