is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
