The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
